Time for a refresher... read the story of the 'prodigal son' in Luke 15:11-32. The father in the story would do anything to have his son back with him, but he doesn't send a search party to kidnap him back. No, the choice has to be the son's. God doesn't force his agenda on us, as if we're his prisoners of war or helpless subjects of a dictatorship; he empowers us to make our own choice. The son realised living in a pigpen was no life at all. He came to his own realisation.

The son should never have been in the pigpen in the first place. His choices landed him there. Dad seemed too boring, home seemed like a bunch of rules, all work and no play. Surely, he thought, there's a better life on the outside, far away from dad's estate. That's what had driven our prodigal 1,000 kilometres from being able to borrow dad's car or celebrating in style on his birthday.

What about us? We too were born for a palace, not a pigpen. Have we realised our favoured position yet? Have we realised that abundant life is not elsewhere, but with choosing Jesus?

So what now? Does it feel like you're lost, 1,000 kilometres from where you should be right now? The reality is you're just a prayer away from God's outstretched arms, and he is waiting and watching for you. Why don't you turn to page 61 of this booklet and pray the prayer right now? Choose to be found.

Here are five 'don't' lessons for life:

(1) Don't worry, just do the best. God accepts no less, but he demands no more. 'Trust in the Lord, and do good... and he shall give you the desires of your heart' (Psalm 37:3-4 NKJV); (2) Don't rush, do it right. 'Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty' (Proverbs 21:5 NLT);

(3) Don't believe something is impossible without trying it. When we're in God's will, doing things God's way, sensitive to his timing and willing to stick at it, our problems are a platform for him to work on our behalf. 'We must wait patiently and confidently' (Romans 8:25 NLT); (4) Don't waste time. Let's put first things first and ask, 'What is it that only I can do, or do best?' Then we will know what we should do. (5) Don't just talk about it...do it. We all have good intentions, but intentions have to become actions. Let's get specific about our diet and our devotions, our finances and our family. Let's say these words regularly: 'If it's to be, it's up to me.' In God's word it says: 'Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead' (James 2:17 NKJV).

So what now? Display these five lessons in a prominent place for you: Don't worry, just do the best; Don't rush, do it right; Don't believe something is impossible without trying it. Don't waste time; Don't just talk about it... do it. See what a difference doing these don'ts makes in your life.

Sometimes our real motives can hide themselves well. Like when we're praying for someone and suddenly realise that our prayer's gone full-blast sermon. Or when we offer to help on the church roster just when it overlaps with someone who has something beneficial for us. 'The human mind is the most deceitful of all things,' says Jeremiah 17:9 GWT. Jeremiah was probably on to something.

Motives like wanting to be needed or respected can compete with the motive of love for Jesus. But when we decide in our hearts that love for Jesus is our main drive in life, then we're getting rid of any competing motive. In our relationships, in our life plans, in the choice of what we spend that spare $20 in our pocket on, we make space for a simpler way to live.

When joy in God is a first-thing-in-the-day matter, it filters naturally into all that we do. Proverbs 17:22 GWT

says, 'A cheerful heart does good like medicine.' This doesn't mean our motives will always be 100% genuine or that life's situations will get simpler. But it does mean that we're happier and more able to trust ourselves in everyday decisions.

So what now? Look back at your free-writing from yesterday. Reflect on it, then answer this question: What did you learn about yourself and your motives? (Top tip: free-writing then reflecting on your writing after a day's break is a great way to journal.)

Ananias and Sapphira saw their friends in the early Church selling their land and giving the money to the poor, and thought it was a great idea. But when they sold some land, they kept some of the money back for themselves. They wanted the spiritual status without too much personal cost. However, Peter saw through it, saying, 'You have not lied just to human beings but to God' (Acts 5:4 NIV). Not only were their motives exposed, but they also dropped dead! God was showing just how important it is for his Church to stay clear of deceit.

Unfortunately, deceitfulness still happens in the Church. A pastor said: 'Numerous Sundays I've preached a message that deeply moved the members of my congregation. But ironically I'd "prepared" by arguing with my wife on the way to church, or making life miserable for my children. I easily morphed into "the pastor", becoming instantly spiritual. I was faking... [because] feeling needed, respected, and wanted can become as great a motivation as love for Christ.'

The human brain is good at hiding its own motives. But God is committed to helping us get our motives back on course: 'The Lord searches every heart and understands every motive' (1 Chronicles 28:9 NIV).

So what now? Think back to significant things that happened in your life last week. Free-write them down - this means with no analysing. Then ask Jesus to reveal your motives and show you his heart for your interactions.

Sometimes we may picture the women of the Bible as quiet and soft-spoken. Not so with the Shunammite woman. Read her story in 2 Kings 4:8-37. In a few of the Bible versions she is described as 'great', which is a polite rewording of the original Hebrew for 'bold and loud'. Why'd she get that reputation? Let's summarise the story.

The Shunammite woman looked after the prophet Elisha whenever he came to her town. In return, Elisha prophesied that she would have a son. When that son grew up, he got a headache one day while working the fields and collapsed dead in her arms. The Shunammite woman wasn't having that. She rolled up her sleeves, announced, 'It is well,' and went to ask Elisha for a miracle. Elisha said he'd send his servant to her boy. She went, 'Fine, but I'm staying here until you come.' Picture him raising his eyebrows, and finally giving in. He goes, prays to God and a miracle happens. Her boy comes back to life.

What's going on here? Without knowing what would happen to her son, this woman clung onto God and said it was all 'well'. We too can have that boldness, if we want it. Hebrews 4:16 says we can go to God, unashamedly confident, with whatever is bothering us.

So what now? God's given you permission to take your pains and problems to his throne and ask for his help. Write a list (so you don't get distracted when you pray) and give them to him.

Slander: to make false and damaging statements about someone. We see it in the news and on Facebook every day. But even if we're unlikely to be passive-aggressive, we could still be taking part in slander. Like when we're not exactly lying about someone, but we're selecting only negative bits of their personality to talk about. What does that look like? An example... Say we have a friend and we don't like the fact that they are often late. And when others talk about that person, we always bring that point up in jest. Eventually our friend's flaw becomes the main thing we think about when we think of them. So even when someone compliments them, we're quick to jump in with: 'Oh, but have you noticed that they're always late?'

The solution here isn't an easy 'say nice words instead' fix. Jesus said that 'the mouth speaks what the heart is full of' (Luke 6:45 NIV), meaning that if we have a critical heart, then critical words are going to be what comes out.

Searching for the best in others takes work and time readjusting what our brain looks for. But it is worth it. God knows what makes people work well together, so he'll help if we ask him.

So what now? What's your first reaction when you find out something negative about someone? Check your reaction against the list of the fruits of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23), and see how it holds up. Bottom line: talk nicely!