When we're in different surroundings, one of our biggest worries may be whether we'll fit in or get along with the people. Because, deep down, we all want to be liked. We almost invariably will find like-minded people to become friends with but, unfortunately, there may be those who we don't get along with. We will never please everybody. And it can be difficult not to let that get to us. The thought that someone doesn't like who we are can be disempowering.

But, if we are 'shaped by this world' as Romans 12:2 (TLB) warns against, we're giving others far too much power over us. Sometimes others may have wrong assumptions about us, or underestimate us, or not appreciate the gifts and personality God's given us.

We are more than the world's 'shape' in the first place. With God, the standard shape is shattered. He has a different perspective on us, and a different way for us. If we ask God to be at the centre of who we are, he gives us power in our own life. Psalm 56:4 (NCV) says, in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?' He is our defence - and there really isn't a better one.

So what now? In Jesus, you are called to be a game changer, to be part of bringing God's Kingdom down here to earth. You have been 're-created' to help others break out of the shape of this world. Trust God and do not be afraid - he is always with you.

Failure! The very word is shudder-inducing. But at least we're not bringing it up during exam season. The truth is that failure is part of life - and part of the learning curve of life. Thomas Edison admitted that it took a few tries (only around 3,000!) before he nailed the incandescent light bulb. And CS Lewis (famous for The Chronicles of Narnia) was turned down 800 times before he sold a single piece of writing. But Edison didn't regret or try to hide those previous tries. In fact, he owned his 'failed' attempts and was grateful for them. He said, 'I haven't failed. I've found 3,000 ways that don't work.' Great outlook there.

Proverbs 24:16 (NIV) says, 'though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.' So rather than beating ourselves up about something we wish we'd done differently, let's focus on doing it differently next time. For most things in life, we get a second chance. And as far as God is concerned, we get a third, and a fourth, and - ok, quite a few more.

The point is, God wants us to succeed. And it's a lot easier to succeed with God by our side, rooting for us. So let's ask him to walk with us towards success.

So what now? When was the last time you felt like you'd failed at something? Keeping a promise, or even a schedule? Consider what went wrong, pray and try it again. Don't be afraid. The God of Heaven will give you success.

Yes, sometimes relationships are hard. But mostly because people are misshapen, with rough edges and sore wounds. In times gone by, monastic communities were places to live completely devoted to God, but still in close, constant contact with people who could help get rid of the rough edges. These community experiences didn't just help people focus on God; they also exposed the bits of their personality that needed work. Which could be a painful experience. So, relationships are a bit like a grinding machine where the spikey bits, which we'd otherwise get away with, are knocked off and polished down. It's a process of learning selfless love, the bedrock for a Kingdom based on unconditional love.

When a relationship is in trouble, professional help can be a really good thing, but, in fact, long before that, it needs to be given to God. If we as individuals in unity put ourselves into his hands, the situation changes completely. Our point-scoring and personal pride get replaced by his priorities.

As long as we focus on 'straightening out' the other person, we're part of the problem. Give it to God, and the issue becomes his to sort. Not only that, but we'll experience peace. The psalmist puts it this way: 'Give your worries to the Lord...He will never let good people down' (Psalm 55:22 NCV).

So what now? Praise God for the spikey bits he's taken off you and smoothed out. And ask him to be the guide and 'smoother' of all your relationships.

Here's a great thing to do: pray. Doing it will revolutionise our relationships. How we pray is also really important: praying for the solution we want might not be inviting God to work there. Are we praying, 'Lord, why haven't you fixed them yet? Why haven't you done what will obviously fix them?!'

If instead we pray: 'Lord, do your thing, fix us your way', then we're on much more receptive ground. His perspective is going to be the one that has the best chance of fixing anything. That's also probably why he taught us to pray, 'May your will be done' (Matthew 6:9-10 NLT). The Bible says: 'This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us...we know that we have what we asked of him' (1 John 5:14-15 NIV).

Today's tip: Love is not about feelings. (What?!) If we only focus on the warm and fuzzies, we miss that love is an act of will, about behaving in ways that are loving. That's why commitment features in marriage; marriage isn't designed to be carried by feelings. Isn't that acting hypocritically? No, it's rising above resentment, hurt and fear and practising real faith. Love, sometimes, is an act of willing ourselves to show love, even when we don't feel like it. And it's how God wants us to relate to him, too.

So what now? Ask yourself: 'If I were loving unconditionally right now, what would I be doing?' Then do it.

Marriage was God's idea... way before anyone thought of chucking rose petals at a happy couple. To him, marriage is a foundational rock of his earthly Kingdom. When we're committed to a spouse, our marriage is a celebration to God.

However: God's foundational plan tends to be a prime target for Satan. Notice how in Adam and Eve's relationship, Satan didn't just separate them from God (major in itself), but twisted their perspective, and divided them from each other (Genesis 3:12). Lies, suspicion and a whole pile of blaming are among Satan's tactics to divide 'what God has joined together' (Mark 10:9 NIV).

All our relationships, especially marriage, will be subject to the same threats from 'the father of lies' (John 8:44 NLT). But note that God has an antidote. Notice how easy it is to recall that time our partner hurt us? Do we keep a subconscious tab of our partner's flaws/failings? Are they really the problem, and are we completely justified in not showing them grace? God says 'love...keeps no record of wrongs' (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV) And also: 'I have forgiven in the sight of Christ...in order that Satan might not outwit us...we are not unaware of his schemes' (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 NIV). This doesn't mean love lives in denial. But it regularly denies the 'self', putting the other first. And nothing melts resentment like appreciation.

So what now? If you've a special someone, think of something you appreciate about them, and tell them. This works equally well with other family and friends.

Realistic announcement before we begin: not every relationship is healthy. (If physical, mental, emotional or even spiritual abuse threatens our safety, let's get out. Stay safe, ok?) In situations when a relationship can be fixed, though, it can end be a source of shared joy and strength. So for the next few days, let's look at injecting some health into relationships, within family or friendship.

Today's tip for healthy relationships: get God's perspective of sin, ours and theirs. Maybe this is obvious. Maybe we agree in theory, but how's it working out in practice? Maybe we're trying our best, but they're being selfish, and never listening. Maybe they're deliberately being as sinful and difficult as possible, and we're just a victim. Perspective shift: Are we giving them a hard time, out loud or with silent treatments, to make them see what a terrible person they are? From God's perspective, sin is sin. Ours and theirs. All of the above are harmful to relationships.

Rather than ranking sins, let's see what Jesus taught: 'How can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye' (Matthew 7:4-5 TLB). We'll be amazed at how God will start to work with their problem when we get honest and deal with ours.

So what now? Open Matthew 7:4-5. Spend time praying through a tough relationship situation with it in front of you. What personal 'planks' do you need to deal with?