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Meet others halfway

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Meet others halfway

When it comes to our relationships, we need to learn to be flexible. There are times when we need to stand firm, but if we find we always need to be 'right' and make the other person 'wrong', we'll struggle to build stable, long-lasting friendships and relationships. One author writes: 'We will not last together because we were never wrong. We will last because when we were wrong, we found the invincible will to correct the wrong and the grace to endure whatever it took to survive it together.'

Relationships are made up of imperfect people with different ideas, opinions, backgrounds, experiences and expectations - it's inevitable we'll disagree from time to time, no matter how well we usually get on. The key is to accept that we won't always agree, and then be willing to work together to find a solution, open to change and prepared to meet others halfway.

The root of many problems in relationships is selfishness. We like to get our own way. But that's not how the Bible encourages us to live. Philippians 2:4 (NCV) says: 'Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others'. When we're concerned for others as well as ourselves, we'll find it easier to co-operate and find middle ground when disagreements happen.

So what now? Are you involved in a dispute at the moment? Instead of standing your ground being 'right', trying to correct the other's 'wrong', ask God to help you meet the person halfway to solve the issue and honour the relationship.


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Aug13

Paul and pauses (1)

In Acts 27, Paul was a prisoner on board a ship headed to Rome. At a stop on the journey, God asked Paul to do something incredibly brave: tell the crew not to leave the harbour because there was going to be a terrible storm. Now remember, Paul was their prisoner, so he suspected the crew wouldn't listen to him. He told them and they did ignore him, so off they went into the heart of the storm and (surprise surprise), they ended up shipwrecked.

Paul didn't know what was coming or what would happen if he listened to God. The crew could've done anything; he was completely at their mercy. However, he obeyed God's words, they came true and this led him to a place where he was able to encourage his captors. In Acts 27:21-22 NIV Paul says, 'Men, you should have taken my advice...but now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed.'

Paul could've lost hope when the crew ignored him, but instead he waited on God as he continued to move in the situation. Psalm 37:34 GWT says, 'Wait with hope for the Lord, and follow his path, and he will honour you.' God revealed himself to the crew through Paul's obedience, even though Paul didn't know what was coming or what to expect.

So what now? Despite your personal circumstances, take action. Pray lots, then go with what you think God's saying to you. Watch him guide you.

Aug12

Choose to give

Jesus was a huge giver: he healed, encouraged, lifted up. In fact, he gave his life for all humanity. He is our best example of giving freely, abundantly and joyfully. We're not asked to give so we can tick boxes on a list of spiritual acts nor should we give out of guilt or powerlessness. We're to give so we can be a blessing to people. Giving is sacrificial. It can be difficult to do, but when we give of our time, energy and finances, other people are benefitted by receiving. It's not about our efforts; it's about others' needs.

And, giving is something we should be practising now, in response to God's direction. We can't wait until we're in that better job or that bigger house to give extravagantly. If we desire to be more generous, we must allow God to grow our generosity today.

God will change our heart as we act sacrificially, choosing to give, even though it may be inconvenient, awkward or painful. Sometimes the number of needs can seem overwhelming but, as we follow God's guidance and our passions, we will see our giving make a huge difference in others' lives.

So what now? Our time can be the hardest thing to give away. So let's start with that. Set aside a specific amount of time (ask God for his guidance) to do something for someone else in the next 24 hours.

Aug11

He's always working

Fast food outlets, superfast broadband, self-service checkouts, credit cards. Do we have to wait for anything anymore? Sometimes, when we're so used to getting things quickly, it's a shock when God expects us to wait for something. The Bible shows us that impatience and independence aren't just signs of our culture; they're a sign of parts of our nature that we haven't yet given to God.

Look at Abraham and Sarah (see Genesis 16): despite God's promise that she would have a child, Sarah focused on circumstances and took things into her own hands to provide Abraham with a son. God still fulfilled his promise, giving her Isaac, but that meant Abraham then had two sons and a lot of trouble on his hands. What if Sarah had remembered that God's promise would be fulfilled by his actions and in his timing? Now, we're not saying it's easy. But when we're overwhelmed by responsibilities or by waiting for God's intervention, it's a relief to know that the work doesn't have to be ours. It's God's and he'll work through us to finish it.

Of course, God won't move our hands and feet without any effort from us, but our efforts are only worth it if he's been invited into them. He's actually been at work in us our whole lives, whether we've known it or not.

So what now? Got a project or task that you've not yet finished? Put aside time today to make more progress. And remember: '[God] who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion' (Philippians 1:6 NIV).

Aug10

Lean not

How do we make sure our faith and relationship with God stay strong? Read our Bibles and pray. Tick. But, how do we make sure, as we read and pray, that we're 'trusting-in-the-Lord-and-not-leaning-our-own-understanding' (see Proverbs 3:5)?

Here are some ideas: (1) Go to a good church. Christian friends and mentors (should) love us unconditionally and remind us of God working in our lives. Serving develops our gifts and reminds us of God's love for people. (2) Chat. We don't have to become super extrovert. We're just talking about talking, with God and people about where we're at. God will never abandon us (see Deuteronomy 31:6) and wants to do amazing things through us. 'Chatting' really helps in dry faith patches. (3) Don't live in the past. From our worst exam to the time we really upset someone, failure hurts. But God wants to show us how to rise from it and help others do the same. If we give our past to God (no matter how painful it is), he'll take it and turn it for good in ways we couldn't have without him.

So what now? Ready to walk fully with God? Let him know your fears and plans and tell him you're ready to follow him 100%. Scary? Yes. But most importantly, first... 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding' (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV).

Aug09

God's guidance: obeying

We know that God speaks to us in many ways: directly through his voice or our thoughts, through others or through the Bible. But the next vital step to hearing God is obeying him; actually doing what we have heard him say. It can be hard to put what God asks into practice, especially when we're bombarded by the relentless stuff that life brings. But, it's clear...James 1:22 GWT says: 'Do what God's word says. Don't merely listen to it, or you will fool yourselves.'

A great way to help us keep obedient is to keep track of it - through a prayer journal, or a list of 'God notes', or audio messages to ourselves. Let's record what we think God says to us, whether it's a specific message for our life, or a general Bible verse that applies right now. Then let's pray for the inspiration, strength, courage and opportunity to do it.

And, let's celebrate our journey of obedience, through a record (written or mental) - of when we showed kindness or mercy when we would rather have not, or when we rejected a usual temptation, or considered something from God's perspective instead of our own.

So what now? Get yourself a journal or planner. Spend time praying. Write down what you think God is saying to you. You are well able to be obedient, because he is always with you anyway, cheering you on.

Aug08

God's guidance: listening

Let's say we've taken yesterday's advice and got over our discomfort to ask God to guide us. What's next? Well, listening. There's no point in asking a question if we're not ready to listen.

And listening is a process that takes practise. Let's look at 1 Samuel 3. God called Samuel twice, and he went to Eli (his mentor) thinking he was the one calling. It took a third call from God and some advice from Eli for Samuel to even realise it was God speaking to him. From there, he received an epic message. It's about consistently taking the time to say, 'Speak, Lord, for your servant hears' (1 Samuel 3:9 NKJV). Now, it's worth pointing out that God still speaks to us today. Not always with a booming voice, but he most definitely is still 100% interested in communicating with us.

A really good place to start listening for his voice is Scripture. Even if God isn't speaking to us audibly/visibly/in any heart-stopping way today, he is speaking to us through his word, written down centuries ago. The Bible is always ready to be heard, in our situation, at any time. It's a great place to begin to build (or re-build) that openness to hearing God speak, after having asked him to.

So what now? Try memorising bits of the Bible. Unsure where to start? Try the famous Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1 - 7:28). Then, in future, see how God brings verses back to mind when you need them - that's listening.