We've probably seen a chef sharpening a carving knife on one of those round sharpening steels. The chef is using one piece of metal to take the rough edges off another, to improve it. Now, importantly, it only works if the chef does it in the correct way. If he does it the wrong way, the knife gets even more blunt - no slice of roast beef for dinner today!

Imagine we're having a disagreement with a friend. If we approach the problem with anger and blame, we'll exaggerate the problem to something far worse. It's super-easy to get defensive and fall into a blame game that only ends up hurting everyone involved - no slice of friendship for us today. But when we prayerfully approach our tender issues with love and honesty, it opens the door to a calm discussion and possibly a stronger, 'new improved' relationship.

Take a look at these wisdom-pearls on the matter: Proverbs 20:3 NLT says, 'Avoiding a fight is a mark of honour; only fools insist on quarrelling,' and Proverbs 15:18 NIV says, 'A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.' No two ways about it, then. It's time to drop our pride and look at what's best for the long term. As long as we live, we're not going to avoid having disagreements, but when they do happen, we can pray to make them constructive.

So what now? Today, thank a friend who sharpens you and keeps you thinking clearly and peacefully.

Many religious leaders in Jesus' day were hyper-judgemental. They had a fixed idea of the correct way to behave, but Jesus and his disciples didn't play by their human-made rules. Jesus and his followers were too busy trying to share real, truthful peace with everyone. The leaders were quick to call them out on their behaviour, but Jesus flipped their criticisms over. He pointed out that they were more worried about breaking traditions created by man than breaking God's commandments (Matthew 15:1-9).

The leaders were so fixated on the actions they saw and didn't like, that they completely missed the world-changing, world-fixing heart of Jesus. They judged him for breaking rules without taking a second to figure out why he wanted to do it. But he knew their hearts, and he called them on it. As Jesus reminded them: 'You judge by human standards; I pass judgement on no one. But if I do judge, my decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me' (John 8:15-16 NIV).

We can only see someone's actions, but God can see what's going on in their heart. Only God knows all the facts, so let's go to him first before we form an opinion on someone.

So what now? Is someone doing something that's easy to judge? Instead of making comments or even just silently judging them, pray for the person. Then, and only then, if God asks you to chat to them about it, do so.

The Bible is full of examples of one person making a massive difference. Often, they're day-to-day people who don't really fit into the shoes of a 'big-shot hero'. Young David was the only person who stood up to Goliath (1 Samuel 17). One little boy gave up his lunch, and watched Jesus turn it into an all-you-can-eat buffet for 5,000 (John 6:9-11). And while we're on the subject, there was only one Son of God. He made a pretty big difference, too.

Problem is, God's plans for us have a habit of taking us out of our comfort zones. It can be tempting to say, 'Sorry God, I can't do it. You've picked the wrong person for this.' The psalmist must have been feeling like this when he wrote that he felt like a sparrow - powerless, small, alone (see Psalm 102:7). But God's brilliant at turning our weaknesses into strengths.

Is God calling us into a place where we don't feel entirely safe, at ease or strong? God's prepared the path for us. He wants us to know that, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). One of the main messages in the Bible is this: God wants to use our weaknesses. It's not a case of 'he'll even use you, but he'd rather use stronger people for better things'. No! He wants to take us all to places we've never been with him, and all he needs is a 'yes'.

So what now? 'Yes Lord!'

Let's be honest, we all moan about things. But it doesn't fix much. We'd probably all agree that complaining doesn't lead to a healthy soul.

Have a read of Numbers 27:1-11. The laws prevented Zelophehad's five unmarried and brotherless daughters from inheriting their father's money. The sisters could have just gone around grumbling and becoming bitter. But instead, they kept their hearts positive and got pro-active. They went to see Moses and explained their problem to him. Moses took the problem to God, who agreed with the sisters and instructed Moses to give them their inheritance. Instead of complaining about their problem to anyone who'd listen and never getting it sorted out, the sisters explained it to people who could do something about it - to God, who could tell Moses to change the law, and to Moses, who could put the change into action.

Where would we be in this grumbling case? Next time something goes wrong, let's think constructively. It takes genuine effort, but to avoid getting into a flap and moaning about whatever it is will be worth it. Let's figure out who can help us and go to them. Explain what's going on and ask for help. Oh, and obviously, before that happens, take it to God.

So what now? Next time you feel a bit of a whinge coming on, stop yourself. Take yourself out of the situation, and into a quiet space. Tell God first, out loud if you can, before you tell anyone else. Let him change your approach.

The Samarians were desperate. The Aramean army had surrounded their city and was trying to starve them into surrender. Between the city wall and the Aramean camp, four lepers were living in quarantine. They decided that, because they were starving to death anyway, they'd go over to the Aramean camp and give themselves up. They were willing to risk capture on the off chance they'd be kept alive and fed. So off they went, only to find the Arameans had run away, leaving all their food and belongings behind. They had this amazing hoard to themselves. But before too long they realised that, while they were gathering treasure, their city was still in despair, starving and completely oblivious to their freedom. 'They said to each other, "What we're doing is not right. This is a day of good news and we are keeping it to ourselves"' (2 Kings 7:9 NIV). They'd started off in dire need and found real hope that they knew needed sharing.

Guess what? We're in the middle of people who don't know Jesus. People who are spiritually starving, completely oblivious to the freedom they could have in Jesus. We have the amazing privilege of knowing Jesus and the hope he brings to the world. Let's not hoard it for ourselves.

So what now? The next person who tells you they're hungry, buy them a snack (or even invite them for proper food). While you're at it, find a natural way to tell them about something that God gives to you. Sharing really is caring.

We may have received an email that somehow just didn't feel right? We couldn't put our finger on what was wrong, so we deleted it without opening it. Later, someone told us it was a scammer trying to steal our identity or unleash a virus. Thankfully, those subconscious alarm bells started ringing at the right time.

We've probably come across Christians talking about developing a spirit of discernment. When Paul is describing spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12:10 NLT, he mentions 'the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit.' Important stuff. Discernment gives us an extra layer of protection against anything that's harmful and not from God.

Hebrews 5:14 NIV describes spiritually mature Christians 'who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.' We can improve our spirit of discernment by spending more time asking God, and his word, whether something is right for us or not. That way, we'll develop a natural knowledge of his voice and what he wants, and it'll get so much easier to spot something that doesn't sound like him. Let's go to God to put our small/medium/big life decisions to the test. If it doesn't have his fingerprints on it, let's back away. And delete it.

So what now? Do you have a friendship or daily habit that just doesn't feel right? Don't ignore the alarm bells. Pray. Sometimes it will be clear what you need to do; sometimes not. Ask someone you trust to help you discern, if need be.